Uncertain thoughts

I’m trying to listen but all I can do is hear. I know the words, they from a sentence but yet they mean nothing to me. I know they once did – or maybe they didn’t and I just wouldn’t admit it. Out of fear.

I’m waiting for a hint, an idea which direction I should move towards. I tried so many of them without success. Lost hope. Now, I am just waiting and it’s even worse. Resting restlessly. Hovering in place? Falling? Gliding with grace? Time might tell.

Admitting to knowing so little is hard. But maybe it’s just the first step. Of knowing more? Of seeing that I have known enough all along? Of realising that any knowledge is just a temporary illusion – of certainty in an certainly uncertain world.

Everything changes, I change, you change, the world changes around us. Sometimes, it’s a little change at a time. One after the other. Sometimes, we turn around the corner and the world is flipped upside down. What if one change takes years to complete.

Can we go on, half changed – changing even more as little changes keeping coming in? How can we keep track of all of them? Is the old change outdated before it’s complete? Or parts of it? Can we become comfortable with not knowing who we are? For we are ever changing and always will be.

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